She is. She’s proud of you. This isn’t about how competent or trustworthy you are or aren’t.
[Jack isn’t sure what else he can say about this—if Fareeha really and truly believes that there’s no place for her between him and Ana, well. He’s not sure what he can do to convince her. It’s something he hasn’t ever considered because he knows it’s objectively untrue.
As for why he hides, well. It’s more complicated than she understands.]
The attack on HQ—it was a setup. Someone wanted us out of the way. I stayed hidden because if they knew I survived, they’d use all of you to get to me.
[It's tough. It's a process. Maybe she just needs to hear it enough to cement it in her head after years of believing she never measured up. For now, though, she lets the topic shift; it's a shock finding out about Ana's departure and arrival, but she'd do what she does with all shocks; she'd adapt, and she'd press on.]
We're supposed to be able to get back home, right?
[At least, that had been the promise on the ship. Clearly it didn't shake out that way, but if Jack is anything, it's stubborn. He wasn't going to give up the charade so easily, not when there was still a chance. Keeping all of them at arm's length was important, even if they didn't let him do that.]
Apparently. [Her tone is soft, thinking about how her mother left but was brought back. This was the life they had to make for themselves. And these disappearances and reappearances were just going to have to become a way of life. It made the friends that remained and remembered that much more important - which made Jack's silence here that much maddening. She could have used his support, instead of having to question him and try to understand his motivations.]
[As in, it hadn't exactly been a choice, and Jack would have been more than content to keep it from everyone for as long as he could. He won't sugarcoat that much.]
Had a bad client on a security detail to Eosoros. Bit off more than they could chew. Got my ass kicked trying to save theirs.
[Embarrassing, really.]
Angela patched me up. Wasn't any hiding it from her.
She wouldn't have told me. My mother certainly wasn't going to say anything.
[It's hard to keep a bitter tone to that last comment; it still stings. But, she couldn't see finding out from any other person other than Jack. Reinahrdt, maybe, but if Angela was the only person he'd been worried about? She didn't get it.]
If we had known ... if I had known ... I could have helped. You could have called on me for assistance. I would have been there for you, Jack.
[She hefts a sigh and looks at him,] I still will, if you need it. I want you to know that.
That's not what I mean. She figured me out, then Jesse did. It was all coming undone, so I decided to tell everyone myself.
[While he had the chance to do so, difficult as it was. If Angela and McCree could see through his charade eventually, then the rest of them would do. Better to rip off the band-aid, as it were.
But there's still so much of this that Fareeha doesn't understand. Her insistence that she can offer assistance, while certainly kind of her, is misplaced.]
Isn't it? [She gives him a calculating gaze. This is absolutely not the Jack she used to know - the one she'd grown up with, who'd helped her become the woman she is today - whether he's aware of it or not. Somehow, with everything that's happened, he lost that. She feels it's her duty then to hold onto it tighter; to remind him. If that's really possible.] If I've learned anything in my life, it's that we're stronger together.
[She looks down at the tea, it's cold now, and she pushes it away before standing. Her fingers trail on the table top for a moment, lightly tapping while she finds her words.] You could at least let me try.
[This is not a road he'll drag any of them down, because it doesn't lead anywhere good. He already knows this isn't an answer she'll like, but it's one he has to give, so he has no problem putting his foot down about it.]
[She crosses her arms and gives him a harsh look - not too dissimilar to something he may have received from Ana on occasion.]
Are you choosing to ignore the fact that Reaper didn't target only you, when we were on the ship? Can you be so sure no one else is going to leave us alone in favor of you? [She's annoyed; she felt his way of thinking was dangerous, considering what they've all already been through. Choosing to shut people out from something like this - in a setting like this - seemed to her that he was content with creating a dangerous situation by withholding intel.] Whatever your fight was back home, it's not the same here.
Don't be stupid. [Don't get involved. Don't play hero.] He's not interested in you unless you get in his way.
[Why waste time with the rest of them when Jack and Ana are right here? The rest aren't important to Reaper, and terrorizing them will be more trouble than it's worth, he's sure that Gabriel knows that.
He can't deny it's a dangerous situation, but he's not particularly worried as long as everyone keeps themselves out of the line of fire.]
It is, because it's already happened. Maybe he doesn't care anymore, true, but to stand there and tell me it's my fault? [She bristles, leaning one hand against the table as she looks him dead on,]
He left me for dead, Jack, and if what you're telling me is true, he's not the only one I should be worried about. Maybe he's the only one who's here now, and maybe he's lost interest, but -- how dare you act like this hasn't effected me in any way. How - dare - you chastise me for trying to ensure something like that doesn't happen again in the future, or to someone who doesn't deserve it. I survived because I had help.
What do you want me to say, Fareeha? Yes. You've won me over. Welcome aboard. It's a suicide mission and we start tomorrow.
[Jack doesn't stand, staying right in his chair and matching her gaze with an icy stare of his own. He might be rejecting ownership of Overwatch, but it seems he can still turn a sort of stern coldness reserved for situations where compromise is not an option.
Again, she makes it all about herself and her worth as a soldier when it's all so, so much bigger than that. She's so desperate to prove herself to him that she doesn't think about what he's really trying to do, and what that would mean in the end.
She's so young, still.]
There's nothing I want you to do here but stay out of it.
I was dragged into it; neither of us have the courtesy of making that decision anymore.
[There was just something about getting in front of these people - of him, of her mother, of Reinhardt - that made her acutely aware of her faults and limitations. She burned with pride. She stands up straight and reaches up to rub her temples, taking a moment to compose herself. She knew she wasn't the only one Reaper had targeted, but she didn't get where Jack was claiming this was his fight when there were so many other people involved.]
We don't always get what we want.
[It's not something she wants, not like this, but it's something she feels inexplicably part of ow whether he cares to admit it or not.]
[He'll give her credit--it takes some real guts to tell Jack Morrison of all people that he can't always get what he wants, like he hasn't spent his entire adult life sacrificing every last part of himself for the greater good. He leans back in his chair and laughs, but it's probably not the sound she remembers--it's something altogether more exasperated and bitter.]
This is not about you, Fareeha. [It never was.] It ain't gonna be about you just because that's what you decided so you could feel sorry about yourself.
I think you don't know what to actually do so you pushed people away.
[That laugh. It reminds her, almost, in a sickening way, of the last time she'd talked to Reaper; about how he'd laughed at her mention of family in a similar fashion. That alone left a sour taste in her mouth, but Jack goes on to insult her personally, and she stiffens. Her voice drops to that dangerously low and tight register.]
No, it's not about me. It's about making this world - any world - we live in, a better place. And if I have personal experience to pull from to help me, I will.
[She stands up straight, looking drained; this was supposed to have been a moment of healing and understanding. She did get an understanding, but it wasn't at all what she'd been expecting.] The only person I feel sorry for here is you. You're not any different than Reaper, you just strike with words instead of fists.
[What she even wants from him. She hasn't changed his mind. She hasn't even proven that she grasps the situation at all--it keeps coming back to something so unrelated that he wonders why he's even trying. It's clear she's written her own narrative, and anything he says to her will bounce right off because it doesn't fit neatly into her self-centered misconceptions.
Jack is old, and tired. He put too much of himself into Overwatch and now there's very little left--certainly not enough to be at all affected by her words and not enough to continue going around in circles when she'd rather put her fingers in her ears. She needs someone to blame for her own insecurities (though he's not sure why she has them in the first place--she's a thirty-three year old adult with a career; she'd made her own way even before Overwatch fell). Fine.
Maybe one day she'll learn. He just wishes it didn't have to be the hard way.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[Jack isn’t sure what else he can say about this—if Fareeha really and truly believes that there’s no place for her between him and Ana, well. He’s not sure what he can do to convince her. It’s something he hasn’t ever considered because he knows it’s objectively untrue.
As for why he hides, well. It’s more complicated than she understands.]
The attack on HQ—it was a setup. Someone wanted us out of the way. I stayed hidden because if they knew I survived, they’d use all of you to get to me.
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[Such as she would with Jack.] And, here?
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[At least, that had been the promise on the ship. Clearly it didn't shake out that way, but if Jack is anything, it's stubborn. He wasn't going to give up the charade so easily, not when there was still a chance. Keeping all of them at arm's length was important, even if they didn't let him do that.]
Didn't expect to be here so long.
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Why did you decided to come clean?
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[As in, it hadn't exactly been a choice, and Jack would have been more than content to keep it from everyone for as long as he could. He won't sugarcoat that much.]
Had a bad client on a security detail to Eosoros. Bit off more than they could chew. Got my ass kicked trying to save theirs.
[Embarrassing, really.]
Angela patched me up. Wasn't any hiding it from her.
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[It's hard to keep a bitter tone to that last comment; it still stings. But, she couldn't see finding out from any other person other than Jack. Reinahrdt, maybe, but if Angela was the only person he'd been worried about? She didn't get it.]
If we had known ... if I had known ... I could have helped. You could have called on me for assistance. I would have been there for you, Jack.
[She hefts a sigh and looks at him,] I still will, if you need it. I want you to know that.
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[While he had the chance to do so, difficult as it was. If Angela and McCree could see through his charade eventually, then the rest of them would do. Better to rip off the band-aid, as it were.
But there's still so much of this that Fareeha doesn't understand. Her insistence that she can offer assistance, while certainly kind of her, is misplaced.]
This isn't something any of you can help me with.
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[She looks down at the tea, it's cold now, and she pushes it away before standing. Her fingers trail on the table top for a moment, lightly tapping while she finds her words.] You could at least let me try.
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[This is not a road he'll drag any of them down, because it doesn't lead anywhere good. He already knows this isn't an answer she'll like, but it's one he has to give, so he has no problem putting his foot down about it.]
It's my fight.
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Are you choosing to ignore the fact that Reaper didn't target only you, when we were on the ship? Can you be so sure no one else is going to leave us alone in favor of you? [She's annoyed; she felt his way of thinking was dangerous, considering what they've all already been through. Choosing to shut people out from something like this - in a setting like this - seemed to her that he was content with creating a dangerous situation by withholding intel.] Whatever your fight was back home, it's not the same here.
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[Why waste time with the rest of them when Jack and Ana are right here? The rest aren't important to Reaper, and terrorizing them will be more trouble than it's worth, he's sure that Gabriel knows that.
He can't deny it's a dangerous situation, but he's not particularly worried as long as everyone keeps themselves out of the line of fire.]
This is not up for discussion.
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He left me for dead, Jack, and if what you're telling me is true, he's not the only one I should be worried about. Maybe he's the only one who's here now, and maybe he's lost interest, but -- how dare you act like this hasn't effected me in any way. How - dare - you chastise me for trying to ensure something like that doesn't happen again in the future, or to someone who doesn't deserve it. I survived because I had help.
Because people help each other, Jack.
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[Jack doesn't stand, staying right in his chair and matching her gaze with an icy stare of his own. He might be rejecting ownership of Overwatch, but it seems he can still turn a sort of stern coldness reserved for situations where compromise is not an option.
Again, she makes it all about herself and her worth as a soldier when it's all so, so much bigger than that. She's so desperate to prove herself to him that she doesn't think about what he's really trying to do, and what that would mean in the end.
She's so young, still.]
There's nothing I want you to do here but stay out of it.
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[There was just something about getting in front of these people - of him, of her mother, of Reinhardt - that made her acutely aware of her faults and limitations. She burned with pride. She stands up straight and reaches up to rub her temples, taking a moment to compose herself. She knew she wasn't the only one Reaper had targeted, but she didn't get where Jack was claiming this was his fight when there were so many other people involved.]
We don't always get what we want.
[It's not something she wants, not like this, but it's something she feels inexplicably part of ow whether he cares to admit it or not.]
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[He'll give her credit--it takes some real guts to tell Jack Morrison of all people that he can't always get what he wants, like he hasn't spent his entire adult life sacrificing every last part of himself for the greater good. He leans back in his chair and laughs, but it's probably not the sound she remembers--it's something altogether more exasperated and bitter.]
This is not about you, Fareeha. [It never was.] It ain't gonna be about you just because that's what you decided so you could feel sorry about yourself.
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[That laugh. It reminds her, almost, in a sickening way, of the last time she'd talked to Reaper; about how he'd laughed at her mention of family in a similar fashion. That alone left a sour taste in her mouth, but Jack goes on to insult her personally, and she stiffens. Her voice drops to that dangerously low and tight register.]
No, it's not about me. It's about making this world - any world - we live in, a better place. And if I have personal experience to pull from to help me, I will.
[She stands up straight, looking drained; this was supposed to have been a moment of healing and understanding. She did get an understanding, but it wasn't at all what she'd been expecting.] The only person I feel sorry for here is you. You're not any different than Reaper, you just strike with words instead of fists.
[And it hurts a hell of a lot more.]
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[What she even wants from him. She hasn't changed his mind. She hasn't even proven that she grasps the situation at all--it keeps coming back to something so unrelated that he wonders why he's even trying. It's clear she's written her own narrative, and anything he says to her will bounce right off because it doesn't fit neatly into her self-centered misconceptions.
Jack is old, and tired. He put too much of himself into Overwatch and now there's very little left--certainly not enough to be at all affected by her words and not enough to continue going around in circles when she'd rather put her fingers in her ears. She needs someone to blame for her own insecurities (though he's not sure why she has them in the first place--she's a thirty-three year old adult with a career; she'd made her own way even before Overwatch fell). Fine.
Maybe one day she'll learn. He just wishes it didn't have to be the hard way.]
I think maybe you should go.